The strangers, p.1
The Strangers, page 1
ALSO BY KATHERENA VERMETTE
Fiction:
The Break
Poetry:
river woman
North End Love Songs
Illustrated Books:
The Girl and the Wolf
The Seven Teachings Stories
Graphic Novels:
A Girl Called Echo Vol. 1–4
HAMISH HAMILTON
an imprint of Penguin Canada, a division of Penguin Random House Canada Limited
Canada • USA • UK • Ireland • Australia • New Zealand • India • South Africa • China
First published 2021
Copyright © 2021 by Katherena Vermette
Excerpt from Heart Berries, copyright © 2018 by Terese Marie Mailhot, Doubleday Canada, and used with permission. Excerpt from Noopiming: The Cure for White Ladies, copyright © 2020 by Leanne Betasamosake Simpson, House of Anansi Press, and used with permission.
All rights reserved. Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise), without the prior written permission of both the copyright owner and the above publisher of this book.
www.penguinrandomhouse.ca
Publisher’s note: This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
Library and Archives Canada Cataloguing in Publication
Title: The strangers / Katherena Vermette.
Names: Vermette, Katherena, 1977- author.
Identifiers: Canadiana (print) 20210090499 | Canadiana (ebook) 20210090588 | ISBN 9780735239616 (hardcover) | ISBN 9780735239623 (EPUB)
Subjects: LCGFT: Novels.
Classification: LCC PS8643.E74 S77 2021 | DDC C813/.6—dc23
Book design by Jennifer Griffiths
Cover design by Jennifer Griffiths
Cover art © KC Adams
a_prh_5.8.0_c0_r0
Contents
Cover
Also by Katherena Vermette
Title Page
Copyright
Dedication
Epigraph
Family Tree
Year One
1. Phoenix
2. Cedar
3. Elsie
4. Margaret
Year Two
5. Phoenix
6. Cedar
7. Elsie
8. Margaret
Year Three
9. Phoenix
10. Cedar
11. Elsie
12. Margaret
Year Four
13. Phoenix
14. Cedar
15. Elsie
16. Margaret
Year Five
17. Phoenix
18. Cedar
19. Elsie
20. Margaret
21. Cedar
Acknowledgments
For my family
Indian girls can be forgotten so well they forget themselves.
—TERESE MARIE MAILHOT
Some stories are stories and some are just facts, facts so important that story can’t mess with them.
—LEANNE BETASAMOSAKE SIMPSON
Left Side Detail
Right Side Detail
TRIGGER WARNING
This book is about coping within the systems that have been imposed upon us, so there are plenty of triggers for those whose lives have been traumatically affected by them. These include depictions of child apprehension, solitary incarceration, suicide ideation, some drug use, and some physical violence. (It’s not just about that, hey? And I do try to cram as much love and hope in between as possible.)
YEAR ONE
1
PHOENIX
The pain started in the middle of the night.
Woke her up, that first one, like a fucking knife going right through her. She jolted up and almost made a noise. But then it went away as quick as it must have come, so Phoenix lay back down. Rolled over on her side and tried to get comfortable again. Tried to go back to sleep, but only ended up staring up at the top bunk. At the lump that pushed down on top of her.
She hated being on the fucking bottom. Always grabbed the top as soon as she could. But big as she was now, she couldn’t get up and down without grunting or even falling, so she was stuck with the fucking bottom. That bitch Winona was on the top, snoring and rolling around. It felt like she could fall on Phoenix any fucking time, fall right on her gut and hurt her baby, even. All Phoenix could do was turn over. She hated being stuck on the fucking bottom.
On the other side of the room was another bunk with an old lady, Sue, on the bottom. The top was empty, for now. This was the infirmary cell. Women came and went. Revolving fucking door. Phoenix had been here for days. Her due date was almost two fucking weeks ago. Any fucking time, was all the bitch-ass nurse said when she checked on her every morning. Any fucking time, like that was fucking helpful.
Phoenix knew about Braxton Hicks or whatever they were called, she wasn’t a fucking idiot. She’d had a few, like strong cramps, for months, so she didn’t freak out at that first pain. Even though it was different. Even though it felt like something different and scared the shit out of her. But she just rolled over again. Watched Sue sleep open-mouthed across the room. Every now and then the old bag would cough so fucking deep and gross, sounded like her lungs would come up her throat. But ol’ Sue wouldn’t even wake up all the way. She’d only readjust her nose oxygen thing and go right back to sleep.
Another pain came a bit after Sue’s next coughing fit. That’s how Phoenix tracked them. She knew to fucking track them, and gauged them on Sue’s coughing and how bad they were. In between she tried to breathe like the book had told her. Like the nurse had told her. It didn’t fucking help much. It hurt like hell. And it was only getting started. It would be over soon. That’s what they told her. Soon it’d be fucking over. Like that was a good thing.
Phoenix thought of everything those first few hours. She tried to distract herself with anything she could think of. The brown house. Grandma Margaret’s pancakes. Grandmère’s frybread. Sitting in the old lady’s lap listening to her stories. Her English broken by French words, Michif words, words Phoenix didn’t always know but somehow it didn’t really matter. She got stuck for a while on her uncle’s music. That was always her favourite thing to think of when she needed to think of something. Trying to remember the words to old Steppenwolf or Aerosmith songs. She mostly only knew the choruses but she kept them going. “Dream On” became a chant with the pain. She didn’t realize she was making any noise until Sue woke up. The light out of the small gap of a window getting brighter with morning, and the old lady still blurry across the concrete floor.
“Wah? What’s going on with you?” The old lady sat up with a choking sound that brought up another wave of cough and spit. “Is it, is it your time?” It took her a while to say.
Phoenix just lay there. Breathing.
“How long you’ve been hurting?”
“I don’t know,” she managed.
Sue leaned forward to look better. “Guard!” she tried to yell but only coughed again. “Get up and, press, Winona, the button!” she choked as she called.
“Fuck!” Winona’s voice mid-snore.
“She’s getting her pains. Press the button!” Sue’s hand to her chest like her lungs would fall out right there. “My word! You preggos will be the death of me. Guard!”
The metal coils screeched as Winona got up and climbed down. “Why are you fucking yelling? They can’t fucking hear you!” She pounded on the button and the light came on right away. The glare hit Phoenix’s eyes like a hammer. “Finally, fuck, hey?”
Phoenix didn’t say anything, just breathed. Felt like the pain was all the time now. Her body fucking wrecked with it. Waves and waves on top of each other.
“Can you sit up? They’re gonna come in and check on you.” Winona was about forty, skinny as shit. She puffed up every couple days before she went to dialysis, but came back looking deflated and even skinnier. She looked super skinny now. She had a shunt in her arm and she was so thin, it stuck out of her sleeve, a plastic tube like a big open straw. It grossed Phoenix out all the time. Made her want to puke now.
She looked away and tried to sit up, but her whole middle was like a brick, hard and pushing down. Felt like the baby was going to fall out right there.
She finally managed to get her feet on the cold floor. The shock of it went right through her. She didn’t want to stand up though.
The door finally fucking buzzed open.
“Is this what I think it is?” Fucking Henrietta was guard tonight. Fuck. Phoenix hated that one. Always looking at her too long. Fucking creep.
“You’ve got to take her, Henrietta.” Sue’s voice was always somewhere between a whine and something even more annoying. “I got to get my sleep or else I’m going to just feel so bad all day.”
“You’re all heart, Sue.” Henrietta’s hands on her belt, thumbs hooked off it like she was relaxed. Phoenix knew better. She knew this chick was always fucking ready. Usually Phoenix was too, but right now she was only pain. And at this bitch’s fucking mercy. “How you feeling, Phoenix? How long has it been?”
“A few, hours,” Phoenix panted.
“Are they close? Getting closer?”
Phoenix nodded.
“Get her out!” Sue shouted. “Get her out of here. It’s only, like, five in the morning!”
“Shut up, Sue!” Winona yelled.
“I’ll call it in, Phoenix, but the nurse’ll want to check you first. She doesn’t get in ’til seven.”
“Seven! She’s got to stay here ’til seven?”
“You know how this works, Sue.”
“That’s two hours!”
“You took that last one in, like, right away.”
“That was her sixth kid. She could have sneezed that one out.” Henrietta faked a laugh. “Phoenix is overdue and it’s her first. It’s going to be a long one.” She turned to go out.
“You don’t know that!” Sue called after her as the door clanged shut. “She doesn’t know that, does she? Winona!”
“How the fuck do I fucking know?” Winona looked down at Phoenix. “How, like, far apart are they?”
“I don’t, fucking, know.” Phoenix wanted to scream but she had no breath.
“Okay, Sue, gimme your clock.”
“That’s mine! You’re going to break it.”
The old lady’s whining was really getting on Phoenix’s last fucking nerve. She wanted to fucking tell her so but couldn’t find the words. And then another fucking pain started. Her whole body tensed up like she was trying to fight it. But couldn’t.
“You better give it back as soon as they take her.”
Winona grabbed the little clock from Sue’s outstretched hand. It was only a small old alarm, the kind that ticked loud and could fold up into its little case. Sue kept it under her pillow but Phoenix could still fucking hear the tick tick ticking. It was annoying as hell the first couple nights. Until she got used to it.
“Okay, let me know when the next one comes and I’ll time it.”
“We didn’t have to do this with the other one!” Sue’s whine reached a whole new pitch.
“She knew what she was fucking doing. Does this one look like she knows what she’s fucking doing?”
“Fuck, fuck,” Phoenix started.
“I know.” Winona rubbed Phoenix’s leg like it was something she had seen on TV. Something she thought she should do but didn’t really want to. “It’ll be okay. I was with all my sisters for most of theirs. It’s all okay in the end. Just can be long.”
“Can you get them to turn the lights off at least?” Fucking Sue.
“How am I going to tell the fucking time then?”
“It’s almost light out,” Sue said. “Oh no! I’m going to be so sore all day now.” She started coughing again like she remembered she needed to be even more annoying.
Winona settled in cross-legged on the floor with the clock in her hand and turned to Phoenix. “Lie back down if you want. But don’t tense up. Try to relax.”
Phoenix did that and another pain came right away. She couldn’t relax. How the fuck was she supposed to relax? She braced her body like she was about to get hit all over, which is kind of what it felt like. Hit from the inside. Like the baby was beating his way out. She held her breath and waited for it to be over.
“Okay, that’s one. Try to sleep in between them.” Winona readjusted herself. To get comfortable on the concrete floor. Phoenix closed her eyes. Sang her song in her head.
It felt like forever before the door buzzed open again.
“Morning, Phoenix! How are you feeling?” The nurse always talking in her too-loud voice. Never looking at Phoenix’s face.
How the fuck you think I’m feeling? Phoenix thought but didn’t say.
“Looks like this baby is finally coming.” She looked down at Winona. “Have you been timing the contractions? That’s good!” Always talking down to every fucking body.
“They’re all over the place still,” Winona said.
“Well, we’ll see about that.” The nurse didn’t look at Winona’s face either. “Phoenix, I’m going to get you to walk to my office, okay?”
“She can’t,” Winona said. “She hasn’t walked all night.”
“She can walk. Can’t you, Phoenix.”
Through the pain, Phoenix glared at her. She wasn’t going to let this bitch win. She sat up like she was fucking dared to. Winona took her hand to help her keep steady.
“Good,” the nurse said like she was a fucking kid, and took her other hand. Hers was ice cold. Somehow Phoenix knew it’d be.
At the doorway, Winona gave Phoenix’s hand a squeeze. “Good luck, Phoenix. Sue, wish her luck.”
“Wah?” Sue said like she was groggy from sleep that she had been pretending to do for the last hour. Then she coughed. That’s what Phoenix heard as the door slammed shut.
Her legs felt like rubber. It was all she could do to keep her feet shuffling. Fucking guard Henrietta followed behind them and through the clinic door. The nurse told Phoenix to get up on the table. No one made a move to help her so she waddled her sore body onto the high, narrow table all by herself. The stirrups were as cold as the bitch nurse’s hands. Who didn’t bother to tell Phoenix what she was doing, just slapped on a glove and stuck her fingers up Phoenix’s twat.
“You’re only about two centimetres dilated.” She took the glove off and pulled up Phoenix’s shirt to check her belly with her fucking cold-ass hands.
“What?!” was all she managed, sure the baby was gonna fall out of her by now.
“What do you wanna do?” Henrietta asked the nurse like she was all fucking in charge.
“She needs to walk. She needs to move around or else this is going to take forever.”
“Okay,” Henrietta said. Like it was normal.
“I’ll check on her in a couple hours,” the bitch nurse said. She wrote on a chart and then left, without giving Phoenix another anything.
“You heard her. What are you waiting for?”
Phoenix braced for more pain and tried to sit up. She felt like she was going to fall over. Fucking Henrietta made no move from the other side of the room as Phoenix stepped down slowly. Her feet still bare but at least this floor was tiled. She pulled her underwear back on, then sweats, so fucking slow. That bitch Henrietta looked up at the ceiling like Phoenix wasn’t even there.
Then took her out to the hall, the sun bright and high now. “We can walk here. To the doors and back.”
“I gotta, fucking, walk?” Phoenix was already panting from walking from the table.
“Yup.”
“How, many?”
“As many as it takes.”
Phoenix started shuffling. She wanted to lie down on the cold floor and yell until they took her to the hospital. She couldn’t believe these evil bitches not letting her get the drugs like a normal person. No, she had to fucking walk, like fuck. So Phoenix fucking walked. She walked until the pain came and then she bowled over, holding her belly until it was over. Then she stood up and walked some more. She walked until she could see Winona and Sue beyond the locked door. They must have been leaving for breakfast. That meant it was eight. But she was still fucking walking. Henrietta didn’t say anything, didn’t do anything but walk beside her. Not touching her, just going at the same pace, however slow. She’d stop when Phoenix bent over but didn’t fucking do anything to help. Phoenix thought her legs were going to give out but they didn’t. She’d stop, they’d buckle, but she just stood up again and kept walking. The light of the day moved around them, and one time another guard came through and said to Henrietta, “Still at it, eh?” Henrietta must have nodded but Phoenix didn’t fucking look up. She just kept at it. Until she bowed over and couldn’t stand back up, and Henrietta finally fucking called the nurse.
